Online VS Real Life

I think I'm going to concentrate on my Online friendships. The Real Life ones aren't really working out all that well for me.

So tired...

Last night was a crappy night. I got sick, I think from my chicken salad sandwich at lunch, and spent the whole night in the bathroom. That was so not fun in any shape or form. Then of course I had to meet my boss at a new office building at 8:30 this morning and that was a joy. I was so tired I could barely get out of bed, and because I was so sick all the little blood vessels around my eyes burst and I look like some weird version of a raccoon. And since I'm working and going to school full time now, I have made the very difficult decision to give up my dogs because we are never home and it is not fair to them. So I have been trying to arrange that since early December but all my emails to the rescue have been ignored. On Monday morning I sent a semi-nasty email to the adoption coordinator who has been ignoring my emails, and copied everyone listed on the local website, including the national coordinator. So I got an angry message last night and then an angry phone call this morning while I was trying to get ready. I understand that she's ticked because I complained to the national coordinator, but if she had just replied to any of my previous emails telling me what was going on I probably would have been a lot more understanding and not sent that email. And there is stuff going on with Taylor and school - I think she's acting out because she's upset about the divorce, but she insists that isn't it. I simply don't believe her. And XH is not backing me up if I punish her even though he has said it is up to me to do what I feel is right. Then when she's at his house he doesn't follow through on the punishments I've set, even though he tells me he will. Things are starting to really drag me down, and I've got to get my life back under control soon. Sigh. Things will get better, I know that. I just am not sure I have the energy to work on it!

New Year's Eve

Last night was hard, hard, hard for me. I made the mistake of checking out his Myspace (and hers) and discovered that they both have their status set as 'in a relationship'. This really threw me for a loop as I guess I have still been clinging to the hope that we would get back together. I need to really get it through my thick skull that that will not be happening, and I need to move on. I need to stop looking at their Myspaces, stop checking his profile on Match and basically just pretend he doesn't exist except as it concerns our children. I originally had no plans for last night, and then suddenly I had three different offers. Then, one by one those offers fell through. The first offer fell through because the hostess fell sick and they cancelled. The next offer was probably never a real firm offer to begin with because I'm pretty sure that the offer was extended out of pity, and by someone who I'm sure is sick of listening to me whine about my ex. The final offer was for something I probably would not ever really have done to begin with - going to a huge country nightclub for the night. I've never been a big New Year's eve partier to begin with - too many drunks on the road, and this year was no exception. My DD1 was kind of bummed because all the friends she invited over to her dad's crapped out on her with the exception of one girl. DD2 made last minute plans to go to a friend's so I had to chauffer her around anyway. When I wasn't talking to the girls or a friend on the phone, I was pretty much sleeping on the couch or crying. DD2 said that there is a saying that the way you spend New Year's Eve is the way you'll spend the year. Kinda hope not since I spent the night alone and in tears...